What to Say During an Intervention: Tips for Families and Friends

Talking to someone about their addiction can be really tough. You want to help, but you also don’t want to push them away. An intervention is not just a confrontation; it represents a crucial moment for individuals grappling with addiction or mental health challenges, providing a systematic chance for family and friends to share their worries, support, and wish for transformation. It is important for families and friends to engage in this process with empathy and clarity. However, what you say (and how you say it) can make a big difference. At SoberMind, we did the research for you so you don’t have to on the best ways families and friends can communicate during an intervention to make it constructive and effective

Creating the Right Setting

Before you start, think about where and when you’ll have the intervention.

• Pick a private place – It should be somewhere quiet where everyone feels safe to talk.
• Choose the right time – The person should be sober or in a calm state so they can really listen.
• Plan what you want to say – Emotions can run high, so knowing your main points ahead of time can help.

How Do You Start an Intervention Conversation?

Beginning the conversation is the hardest part, but it’s important to show love and concern. Here’s how to do it:

• Start with kindness – Let them know you care about them and just want to help.
• Use “I” statements – Say things like, “I feel worried when I see you like this” instead of blaming them.
• Be specific – Talk about things you’ve seen, like missing work or struggling with money.
• Offer help – Have a plan ready, like a rehab program or therapist, and encourage them to take that step.

What Should You NOT Say During an Intervention?

Some words can make the situation worse. Avoid these:

• Blaming or shaming – Don’t say things like, “You’re ruining our family” or “You should be ashamed.”
• Making empty threats – If you say, “If you don’t get help, I’m cutting you off,” make sure you follow through.
• Arguing or yelling – This isn’t a fight. Keep the focus on support, not blame.

How Can Families Prepare for an Intervention?

Good intervention planning helps keep the conversation focused and supportive. Here are some steps:

• Get a team together – Choose close family and friends who truly care about the person.
• Talk to a professional – A therapist or addiction expert can guide you through the process.
• Practice what you’ll say – Rehearse statements so they sound caring, not confrontational.
• Prepare for resistance – The person may get upset, deny there’s a problem, or refuse help. Stay calm and stick to the plan.
• Have solutions ready – Research treatment options ahead of time and say things like, “We can help you find a therapist.”

Supporting Loved Ones in Recovery

The intervention is just the beginning. Even if the person agrees to get help, they still need support. Here’s what you can do:

• Encourage them to stick with treatment – Therapy and support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) can be helpful.
• Set healthy boundaries – Don’t enable bad behaviors, but continue offering support.
• Stay involved – Check in on their progress, go to family therapy, and remind them they are not alone.

An intervention is not a one-time event; it is the beginning of a dialogue. After the intervention, it is important to maintain open lines of communication. Follow-up conversations that reinforce the love and support expressed during the intervention can be pivotal in maintaining the individual’s motivation to seek help.

Follow Up with Us

A well-planned family intervention strategy can be life-changing. By communicating during intervention with love and patience, families can help their loved ones take the first step toward recovery. The message needs to be clear: “We love you, we’re worried, but we believe in your potential to overcome this.” This message of hope, coupled with concrete steps towards recovery, is often the most powerful element of a successful intervention. 

If you or someone you know is struggling with how to approach an intervention for a loved one, consider reaching out to us at SoberMind Recovery who can help guide the process. We offer a combination of these resources to deliver a strong support system for your family interventions when needed. Other specialty programs that we provide include LGBTQ SoberMind Recovery and Dual-Diagnosis Treatments. Residents of Los Angeles can obtain more information about various treatment programs by calling SoberMind’s toll-free number.